By: Chaya Sora Jungreis-Gertzulin

In this week’s parsha, Tetzaveh, we learn of the special garments worn by the Kohein Gadol, and the Kohanim. Elaborate clothes worn while they did their avoda, sacred work in the Mishkan, and in later years, the Beis HaMikdash.

The Kohein Gadol merited to wear the choshen, the breastplate. Upon it were gemstones, on for each of the twelve shevatim. The choshen, worn over the heart of the Kohein Gadol, signified his deep love and devotion for all of Am Yisroel, his ability to be nosei b’ol im chaveiro, to carry another’s burden. To be one with his people.

Rabbeinu Bechaya refers to the bigdei kehunah, the Kohein’s garments, as bigdei malchus, clothes of royalty.

This coming week, we will celebrate Purim. We read the Megillah, and learn of Esther donning clothes of royalty. Coincidence or connection?

When Esther was first taken to the palace of Achashverosh, Mordechai instructed her to keep her identity, her background and birthplace, a secret. He believed that although he didn’t understand, HaShem has His ways, and in due time it will all play out. Mordechai didn’t want to jeopardize HaShem’s ultimate plan. Esther heeded his advice, and no matter how many times Achashverosh asked, Esther kept her identity hidden.

When Achashverosh enacted Haman’s plan, “L’hashmid, la’harog u’le’abed, To destroy, to kill and annihilate…” the Jews throughout the Persian Empire. (Megillas Esther 3:13), it became clear to Mordechai why HaShem planted Esther in the palace.

Mordechai told Esther to approach Achashverosh. She is apprehensive and filled with fear. After all, as she relayed to Mordechai, “If anyone, man or woman, approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned, there is but one law – to be put to death, except for the person to whom the king shall extend the gold scepter.” (Megillas Esther 4:10)

Mordechai responds with a question that was a wake-up call to Esther, and speaks to each of us to this very day. “U’mee yodea’ah, and who knows, im l’eis kazos, if it was for this moment in time, hee’gata l’malchus, that you attained a royal position.” (Megillas Esther 4:14) And so, Esther put herself in HaShem’s hands. She let Mordechai’s words penetrate her neshama… “Who knows, if it was for this moment in time…” A question we must ask ourselves. What is my mission, my purpose, where am I going with my life? What is my raison d’être?

Esther knew the answer. It was with a powerful love for her people that she rose above her fears and stood before Achashverosh. Like the Kohein Gadol who wore the choshen, and felt the pain of others, Esther felt the pain of Am Yisroel. She fasted for three days, and on the third day, mentally and spiritually prepared, she stood before Achashverosh.

The Megillah tells us, “Vatilbash Esther malchus, Esther donned royalty…” (Megillas Esther 5:1). The word “clothes” is glaringly absent. The Talmud asks why the Megillah says she put on “royalty” rather than “royal garments”. The sages interpreted this to mean that the Shechina, the Divine Spirit of holiness clothed her, guiding her to act with Divine inspiration.

Esther didn’t approach Achashverosh alone, but HaShem was with her, every step of the way. Like Moshe, who answered HaShem’s call of “Bo el Pharaoh, Come to Pharaoh” (and not “go” to Pharaoh), HaShem was saying, don’t be afraid, come with me. I will be with you. As HaShem was with Moshe and Esther, so He is with all of us.

On my recent trip to Israel with the Agudah Yarchei Kallah, our group spent an afternoon in Efrat, where we were fortunate to hear words of chizuk from Rabbanit Noa Lewis, the director of the women’s division of the IDF Chevra Kadisha. She spoke of her experiences, specifically of the post-October 7 period, and the feeling of loneliness and abandonment that frequently accompanies her holy work. She said that what keeps her going, despite the trauma and pain she often encounters, is a Kabbalistic teaching that “the essence of understanding is that we don’t understand”.

Reading the Megillah, these words come alive. At first, Mordechai, Esther, and the Jewish community of the Persian Empire didn’t understand why Esther was taken, why Haman’s decrees were enacted. The first step is to accept that we don’t understand. Only then can we truly place our full trust in HaShem, and say, it’s all in Your hands.

Following Noa’s words, our group participated in several activities with Just One Chesed, an organization that provides help, food, and other assistance to soldiers, their families and the needy. We divided into three smaller groups, one packing mishloach manos to be distributed on Purim, another making pizza to be delivered to various IDF bases as well as to families of reservists who were called up to active duty. A third group took drills into their hands and became carpenters for a day, building bed frames for needy families.

Each activity was a chesed that filled a need. From Claire, who initiated Just One Chesed’s Build-A-Bed project, we learned of so many children sleeping on the floor, either on blankets, or thin mattresses, because of their families’ state of poverty. Interestingly, Claire, an interior decorator, wanted to construct a bed frame for her own child, and in the course of researching “how-to” instructions, she learned of the many thousands of Israeli children who went to sleep at night without a bed. This motivated her to create Build-A-Bed.

We also heard from Jerry about the families of reservists who could use an extra dinner, and of the soldiers who appreciated the pizzas. That led him to start Meals for Heroes. All acts of chesed for Am Yisroel.

I chose Meals for Heroes, and surprised myself with making six pies. By the end of the day, my hands – and even a good part of my clothing – were covered with flour, but I had a glow within my heart.

We were given aprons, emblazoned with the logos of the various chesed projects we participated in. Perhaps bigdei malchus are not merely garments of gold and precious stones, but whatever clothes we wear when we rise above ourselves for the sake of helping another.

Wishing all my readers a Shabbat Shalom and a Simchas Purim!

Chaya Sora

Chaya Sora can be reached at [email protected]

This article was written L’zecher Nishmas / In Memory Of HaRav Meshulem ben HaRav Osher Anshil HaLevi, zt”l and Rebbetzin Esther bas HaRav Avraham HaLevi, zt’l