By: Chaya Sora Jungreis-Gertzulin

Have I got news for you… Want to hear the latest… Did you hear what she did? Do you know what he said? I shouldn’t be sharing this, but… practically everyone knows anyways.

And so begins the treacherous trail of lashon hara. Gossip, slanderous talk, derogatory statements, be it true or not, public knowledge or confidential information… it’s all lashon hara.

This Shabbos, we read the double Torah portions, Tazria and Metzora, which include the laws regarding one afflicted with tzoraas, a blemish that, in biblical times, appeared upon the skin of one who spoke lashon hara. A physical response to the spiritual ailment of harmful speech.

The word metzora comes from the term “motzi (shem) ra”. Literally, one who gives a bad name to another through slanderous gossip.

Spots start popping up on one’s skin. Its appearance would hopefully stop the speaker in his tracks. A sign to be careful with one’s words. While tzoraas is a punishment, the mere fear of contracting it protected our ancestors from falling into the trap of lashon hara

The Lubavitcher Rebbe teaches that tzoraas should be understood as a lesson to help a person correct his ways and experience a spiritual rebirth.

While the physical affliction of tzoraas no longer exists, its message remains strong and relevant. HaShem gifted us with the power of speech, and we must choose our words wisely.

Once said, words cannot be taken back. There is a well-known tale of a man who went to his rabbi seeking advice. He spoke lashon hara, damaging another’s reputation. The rabbi instructed him to take a sack of feathers and scatter them in the town square, and then report back to him.

No problem, the simple-minded man thought. This I can do. An easy way to make amends.

He followed the rabbi’s instructions and returned to him. “Now, go collect the feathers”, the rabbi instructed.

“Impossible”, the man said. “By now, they have all blown away”.

“Ah”, said the rabbi. “Just as you can’t collect the feathers, so it is impossible to take back your words. Like feathers, words travel, and like feathers, they cannot be retrieved”.

The Talmud in Arachin has an extensive discussion amongst the sages about the severity of lashon hara. “Rabbi Yishmael taught, ‘Whoever speaks lashon hara is guilty of a wrongdoing equivalent to the three cardinal sins: idol worship, illicit relations and murder.’ ” Strong words that should make one think before speaking.

In today’s fast-paced, hi-tech world, emails, texts, WhatsApp and social media have made gossip instantly available to be read and heard. With one click – one “send all” – information proliferates easily and travels exponentially. Once you push that button, it is impossible to control how far and wide the words travel.

Additionally, thanks to smartphone technology at our side, it has become so easy to take pictures and videos wherever we are, and of whomever and whatever we desire. These pictures and clips are shared, very often without the knowledge of the subject, and without considering the ramifications of simply dumping information into the public arena.

Language is life. Words can be both creative and destructive. Words can be used to spread goodness or bring pain and sorrow. As Shlomo HaMelech says, “Maves v’chaim b’yad loshon, Death and life are in the hand of the tongue”. (Mishlei 8:21). Our words can be used to build, encourage, console and provide confidence. Or, they can be used to tear down, diminish and destroy. The decision is ours to make.

The Chofetz Chaim is quoted as saying “Before you speak against someone else, think how you would like it, if someone said the same thing about you.”

One must think: Is there a chance that my words may be hurtful or damaging? Am I embarrassing someone with my words? Am I revealing another’s confidences, sharing private info? The Rambam teaches in Hilchos Dayos, that lashon hara hurts not just the person being spoken about, but also has a negative spiritual effect on the speaker as well as on the listener. Honestly, no one walks away from lashon hara with a good feeling.

In poll of 1,000 people, 51% answered that the #1 buzz with friends was about other people’s relationships. And 59% admitted their kids have repeated something they heard their parents gossiping about. What does that say about the world we live in, and what does that indicate about the role models we are for our children.

It’s not always easy to break away from the habit of speaking lashon hara. To be the one to change the conversation, when it becomes negative and is about someone else. In fact, it takes much strength and willpower. But HaShem never asks the impossible from us. We have the capacity to do it, bringing blessing not only to our own lives, but to the lives of those around us.

Tzoraas is called a nega, an affliction. The Hebrew word nega, is spelled nun, gimmel, ayin. If we rearrange the order of the letters to ayin, nun, gimmel, we have the word oneg, an occasion of pleasure and delight. With our words, we can change nega to oneg, affliction to pleasure. All we have to do is put the ayin first. The word ayin, means an eye. First and foremost, we must look at others with an ayin tov, a good eye, to see the positive in others, to be genuinely happy for them. When we fargin others, it creates a barrier in our mind that prevents us from speaking negatively. See the good and you will experience oneg, the blessing of joy.

In the sefer Aleinu L’Shabeach, Rabbi Yitzchok Zilberstein relates a teaching from the Chofetz Chaim. The Chofetz Chaim said that before Rosh HaShana, people try to engage in self-improvement, and take on extra mitzvos. One highly effective way to ensure that one has a good year, and merits a positive Heavenly judgment, is to commit not speak or listen to lashon hara. If one finds the strength to not speak negatively about others, and speaks words of kindness and understanding, the malochim, the angels above, will find kind, good words to say about him.

It’s never too late to make it a lashon hara free year. We can start now. We can make our home, our Shabbos table, our daily conversations, lashon hara free. In that merit, may we see many brachos and yeshuos for ourselves, our loved ones, and all of Klal Yisroel.

Shabbat Shalom!

Chaya Sora

Chaya Sora can be reached at [email protected]

This article was written L’zecher Nishmas / In Memory Of HaRav Meshulem ben HaRav Osher Anshil HaLevi, zt”l and Rebbetzin Esther bas HaRav Avraham HaLevi, zt”l