By: Chaya Sora Jungreis-Gertzulin

This week, Shabbos Bereishis, we once again begin reading the cycle of Torah portions. The word “Torah” means “instructions” or “teachings”. Torah isn’t solely a book of halacha, Jewish law, nor is it merely a book of the history of our people. It is a book of lessons to live by.

Bereishis. In the beginning.

We are introduced to Adam and Chava, the world’s first couple. They built a life together on their own. They never attended a pre-marital seminar, nor did they take a couple’s class. They didn’t have parents to guide them, friends to learn from, or a mentor to consult. They didn’t even have a “how-to” guide on achieving marital bliss. Yet, we can learn so much from their relationship.

Adam and Chava began their life together in the Garden of Eden, the perfect paradise, a most beautiful world. They were surrounded by lush aromatic trees, flowers and greenery. There was an abundant supply of garden fresh fruits and veggies. All their needs were taken care of.

Every tree in the Garden was theirs for the taking – save one – the Tree of Knowledge. Despite being warned, Chava succumbed to the influence of the nachash, the sly snake, and took a fruit from the tree. She then ran to Adam and shared it with him. One small act, one moment in time, and their life changed forever. They were banished from the Garden, their idyllic life came to an end. They now had to live a life fraught with challenges and difficulties.

They experienced a total reversal. One minute they had everything. And then, “poof”, it was all gone. My mother, the Rebbetzin a”h would often speak about how Adam reacted towards Chava. What we can learn from words said and words left unsaid. Adam could have easily berated Chava, saying “You blew it… What were you thinking…. You messed up big time. Look at the trouble you caused. I’m done. I had it.” When a person is upset, logic often doesn’t play a role.

But Adam said none of the above. Instead of losing it, and saying words that would be regretted, Adam focused on the future, and spoke with hope and optimism.

The Chumash tells us that Ha Shem formed Chava from the side of Adam. Adam initially called his life partner, isha – woman, for she was formed from ish — a man. He felt an immediate connection to her, proclaiming that she was “etzem mei-atzomai – the bone of my bone, u’basar me-besoree – and flesh of my flesh”. (Bereishis/Genesis 2:23) It was only after they took from the Tree of Knowledge, and realized that the life they had been living until then was coming to an abrupt end, did Adam give his wife the name Chava. “Vayikrah Ha Adam shem ishtoh Chava, and Adam called the name of his wife Chava, ki hee hoysah aim kol chai – because she was the mother of all living beings.” (Bereishis/Genesis 3:20)

Chava. To give life and being to others. By naming her Chava, Adam was saying, “We will build a world together. You will be the mother of all living beings.”

What powerful, beautiful words. Words of hope. What a life lesson. Adam didn’t waste time criticizing Chava and making her feel small. Instead, he spoke of his faith in her and their future together. He gave her a brachah – Chava, you will be a source of life.

Husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, parents and children, friends and neighbors – in our relationships with each other, we can all take a lesson from Adam. To have a compassionate heart, to speak words that build and not destroy. Words that comfort and console.

Chava became the mother of two sons, Kayin and Hevel, Cain and Abel. Unfortunately, Adam and Chava experienced a terrible tragedy – the unthinkable. One brother killing another.

Here too lies a life lesson. Chava could have understandably said, “I can’t take it anymore. Life’s not fair. Too much pain, too much sorrow. I can’t handle it.” Instead, she continues on. She finds renewed strength and faith. She gives birth to a third son, Sheis, Seth. She continues her role as the mother of living beings.

I often think of the generation that survived the Holocaust. My grandparents, my parents, and the parents of so many of my friends. I think of the enormous strength and fortitude they had to continue on. So many arrived to this country empty-handed, with literally just the shirt on their back. Yet, they didn’t fall apart. They started anew. They built families, shuls, and communities, that grew and flourished. They built a whole new generation.

The strength of Chava is within us. The ability to give life and being. To build and rebuild.

There is a modern Hebrew word – chavayah – meaning “a life experience”. It is used as an exclamation – “eizah chavayah – what an experience!” Within chavayah is the name Chava, the name given by Adam with the brachah to give life. How important it is that our life experiences should be with meaning. Experiences that will make a difference in this world.

We can also learn an important lesson from the name Adam. The Shelah Ha Kadosh writes that Adam comes from the word adamah, meaning earth. On a simple level, the name reflects that man was formed from the dust of the earth. However, writes the Shelah, the name Adam is also alluded to within the word adameh l’elyon, meaning to be like or similar to Ha Shem. Man has a choice. To remain lowly and be like the earth – adamah, or to grow and become a spiritual being, to bring out man’s soul and the G-dliness that is built into each and every one of us – adameh l’elyon.

The Book of Bereishis opens with an enlarged letter beis. Beis for brachah, to bring blessings to the world. Beis for bayis – a home, signifying the importance of building Jewish homes, Jewish families. And beis for bitachon – faith. How essential faith and trust in Ha Shem are to our very survival.

The message of the letter beis is one and the same as the life lessons we learn from Adam and Chava. Torah teachings to bring into our own lives.

Shabbat Shalom!

Chaya Sora

Chaya Sora can be reached at [email protected]

This article was written L’zecher Nishmas/In Memory Of Ha Rav Meshulem ben Ha Rav Osher Anshil Ha Levi, zt”l and Rebbetzin Esther bas Ha Rav Avraham Ha Levi, zt”l