By: Rob Otto

A satirical article about congestion pricing in the Hamptons over Labor Day weekend took a surprising turn when it led to an outpouring of anger from confused readers. The piece, published in the latest issue of Dan’s Papers, was intended as a tongue-in-cheek jab at the potential for congestion pricing in New York. However, some readers mistook the satire for reality and flooded the governor’s office with furious phone calls.

The controversial article, written by Dan’s Papers founder Dan Rattiner and published on August 29, suggested that a congestion fee would be imposed on vehicles entering the Hamptons during the busy holiday weekend. The fee structure, according to the spoof, would be based on the value of the vehicle, with those driving cars worth more than $250,000 allowed in for free. The article joked that the wealthy were so welcome in the Hamptons that the ultra-rich could breeze in without paying a dime.

Unfortunately, not all readers recognized the satirical nature of the piece. Vicky Schneps, the publisher of Dan’s Papers, told the New York Post that her office was inundated with calls from readers who believed the story was genuine. “They asked, ‘Is this really so?’” Schneps said, noting that some readers were incensed and accused the paper of spreading “fake news.”

In response, Schneps defended the publication, emphasizing that the article was clearly intended as satire, not a factual report. “We don’t publish fake news. We publish satire,” she insisted, expressing surprise that some readers took the joke seriously.

The confusion comes in the wake of a real congestion pricing plan proposed for New York City, which was ultimately scrapped by Governor Kathy Hochul in June.

According to the article, vehicles entering the upscale beachfront community between midnight Thursday and midnight Tuesday would be subject to the fees. The piece claimed that officials would consider reintroducing the plan during Columbus Day weekend and that it would be brought back for the summer of 2025. The supposed fee schedule ranged from $5 for old Toyota Corollas to $999 for cars valued between $100,000 and $250,000. In a further mockery of the ultra-wealthy, the article stated that those with even more expensive vehicles could make “voluntary contributions” in cash, stocks, or even bitcoin, with the added benefit of tax deductibility.

The spoof didn’t stop there. It humorously mentioned that drones would be used to monitor the entry points into the Hamptons, capturing license plate images to enforce the fees. The revenue generated, the article claimed, would not be used for building new roads but rather for installing speed bumps every 100 yards on all existing roads.

The piece also fabricated a backstory involving Governor Hochul, who was supposedly behind the plan. According to the article, the governor began plotting the Hamptons congestion pricing after a recent visit to Montauk, where heavy traffic caused her to miss her flight back to Albany, allegedly shutting down state government for three hours.

In another outrageous claim, the article mentioned penalties for those who violated the supposed congestion pricing rules. These included a 60-day jail sentence and a $1,000 fine for shooting at a drone, turning road rage into a capital offense, and impounding any vehicle making a left turn in the Hamptons — with the car being crushed at a junkyard afterward.