By: Lieba Nesis
As the summer whizzes by, thousands continue to gather in the richest enclave in the world-the Hamptons. While open-for-business hotels, Jitneys and restaurants continue to be sold-out, the pandemic has created some undeniably unfortunate changes. For one the overcrowded Jitney bus continues to miss its allotted departure time and no longer distributes snacks due to the staffing shortage. Moreover, the majority of restaurants close at 10 PM and 90 percent of the club scene is over by 2 am.
Citarella similarly closes at the early hour of 7 pm and hotels were sold-out for the entire summer a month before summer even started. Parties are another covid casualty as the Southampton Hospital decided to forego its usual dinner for a low-key cocktail party at Jean Shafiroff’s beautiful home in Southampton. I attended on Friday afternoon in a drenched dress due to the broken air conditioner on the Jitney and was ready to mingle with some of my favorites including Fern Mallis, Cameron Silver and the delightful Shafiroff family. The legendary photographer Patrick McMullan arrived later, having covered three fundraisers with the energy of a 20-year-old. Patrick was spending the weekend with the Shafiroffs and was looking forward to photographing the upcoming weekend.
Unfortunately, one of the events he was shooting, The Watermill Benefit, was curtailed from a dinner party to a cocktail event on Saturday July 30th. Having attended this $1,500 benefit pre-Covid I can attest that it was one of the premier happenings of the year; featuring the glitterati of the art world and luminaries such as Lady Gaga, Robert Downey Jr., Alan Cumming, Marisa Berenson, Alec Baldwin and Sharon Stone. In 2018, attendees flew in from Europe to bid on the priceless art of Keith Haring, Marina Abramovic and Roy Lichtenstein. The pre-pandemic evening routinely lasted from 6 pm-12:30 am, with a full cocktail party, dinner and after party where Ja Rule even performed. This year the “watered” down $1,000 per ticket 6-9 pm cocktail party contained performance art that was creepy; with smoke billowing from a woman’s vagina, an Adam and Eve scenario and a topless woman.
The art installations were even less impressive with a giant Burning Man-like bamboo structure dramatically hoisted by attendees being the focal point. It was a great photo opportunity, but so what. The unsavory lamb tacos and fish stew along with limited tables left guests with no choice but to seat themselves on the floor. This had attendees dissatisfied and ornery. There was even a girl-on-girl fight that I arrived for the end of. Gone were celebrities and art luminaries such as Jeff Koons and Marina Abramovic. I was reminded of the old days when I would arrive home from the Watermill benefit at 2 am, exhilarated from a night of dancing and revelry and buoyed by the novel art and artists I had encountered.
An evening that did garner a horde of celebrities was the Good Plus Foundation charity dinner held at the East Hampton home of Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld on Saturday evening. Jerry looked svelte and handsome and did a standup set, illustrating that he is still in top form. Sponsored by Chanel, Jerry’s highbrow wife, Jessica, ensured only the “right” people were there including fellow hot-to-trot celebrity Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Brad Falchuk, as well as Naomi Watts, Julianne Moore, George Stephanopoulos, Barbara Bush, Lizzie and Jonathan Tisch and Aby Rosen.
This was the party to be at but if you weren’t A-list, then forget it! The snob index was the only thing exceeding the humidity! Vacheron Constantin held a more low-key dinner in Bridgehampton on Friday night where Liev Schreiber and Caroline Vreeland held court.
Plebeian Hamptonites were reeling that Sag Harbor Bilboquet was closed for a Louis Vuitton private party on Saturday night. I headed to Si Si’s East Hampton which was an overcrowded bust. The young crowd was squashed together as the blaring music pounded and I was painfully regretting my $100 45-minute uber ride.
Sag Harbor’s Murf’s was no better as sweaty patrons rubbed more than elbows and I nearly got hit by a passing dart that was aimed at my head. Rapper Lupe Fiasco at East Hampton’s Clubhouse was just that, a “fiasco.” It was too loud and under-attended. The Clubhouse opened in July 2018 and is a treasure with bowling alleys, a full arcade, a miniature golf course and a large private space for events.
St. Jude’s held its annual dinner at the Clubhouse Saturday night with an outdoor tent and the delightful band Mark Rivera and The Rockin Soul Stars. The St. Jude’s evening has become a staple on the social calendar of Hamptonites. With the Clubhouse kitchen closed at 11 pm, I headed to 7-Eleven in Southampton; the best all night market in the entire Hamptons, where dozens of cars filled the lot. After scarfing down a bagel with butter, two fresh chocolate chip cookies, and a bitter coffee I took a five-minute $30 ride to the Southampton Social Club where hundreds of anxious partygoers waited on line.
The superlative crowd and contagious energy of attendees was a perfect conclusion to an otherwise mediocre evening. I was even able to score a coveted pair of blue headphones which allowed me to focus on the music and dance with abandon until its 3 am closing. An early hour during pre-pandemic times.