Parshas Vayechi–Different But Together

By: Chaya Sora Jungreis-Gertzulin

End of life plans. Wills, last requests. Not things that are pleasant to think about. Decisions we tend to delay and push off. Discussions with our loved ones we want to avoid.

Parshas Vayechi is the closing parsha in Sefer Bereishis, and the final chapter of Yaakov Avinu’s life. While the parsha speaks of Yaakov’s end of life, it is called Vayechi – AND he lived, for Yaakov’s life lessons live on, guiding us to this very day. As the Talmud teaches, “Tzaddikim, the righteous, even in their death, are considered alive.” Their words, their teachings, their actions, live on.

“Vayikrivu yemei Yisroel lamus, And the time approached for Yisroel (Yaakov) to die, vayikro livno, l’Yosef, and he called for his son, Yosef.” (Bereishis 47:29) Yaakov was getting older. He wanted his final wishes to be made known. He didn’t call his financial planner or estate lawyer. Rather, he turns to Yosef, the son who was second to the Pharaoh. The son who was in a position of power, enabling him to carry out his father’s last wishes.

Yaakov did not want to be buried in Egypt, but to have his final resting place in Eretz Yisroel. With poignant words, he turns to Yosef and says, “V’shochavti im avosai, And I will sleep with my fathers.”

The Chumash refers to Yaakov in this instance by the name “Yisroel”. Yisroel – meaning a prince, a name denoting strong will. Though elderly, Yaakov gathered his strength, and articulated his request in a clear and precise manner. He asks Yosef to promise that his wishes will be fulfilled. Did Yaakov not trust Yosef? Why the need to ask his son to take a vow?

“Eizehu chochom, haro’eh es hanolad. Who is the wise one? One who thinks of the future, of all the possibilities and deterrents that may arise.” (Pirkei Avos 2:3) To be cognizant of the “what if’s” of life. Yaakov was afraid, what if Pharaoh gave Yosef a hard time, and insisted on Yosef burying his father in Egypt. After taking a vow, Yosef could say, I promised, I swore to my father. This was his last request. How can you deny it.

Yaakov had his reasons for not wanting to be buried in Egypt. Rashi teaches that one reason was that the Egyptian culture worshipped the dead (think mummies).

From the time that Yaakov lived in Egypt, he brought blessing to the land. He was afraid of his burial place becoming enshrined, his body worshipped by the Egyptian populace.

Another reason was that by being buried in Eretz Yisroel, Yaakov was making a statement to his children and to future generations. Egypt, and for that sake the Diaspora, is not our final resting place. Our eternal home, our holy land, our country, is Eretz Yisroel.

Yaakov told Yosef that his request was for a “Chesed shel emes, A kindness of truth”. Rashi teaches that chesed done to one who passes away is true kindness. For after death, the deceased cannot repay the kindness.

There is a Midrash telling of a debate between Truth, Emes, and Chesed, Kindness. When HaShem created the world, Truth said that humanity is not worthy of creation, for man lies and is deceitful. Kindness retorted that man is worthy of being created, as man is full of love, understanding and compassion. But Truth had a rebuttal. Man does acts of kindness because of the hope of receiving something in return.

Chesed’s reply was that there is a kindness for which one expects no remuneration. Chesed shel emes, the kindness shown by honoring a deceased’s final wishes.

A lesson from Yaakov. While he still had strength, he faced his own mortality and made his request clear. And a lesson from Yosef. He went to his father. He listened to a hard discussion, he heard words that were difficult.

As children, we tend to tell our parents that there is plenty of time to talk about it. There are still years ahead. But Yosef not only listened, he pledged to honor his father’s request. How comforting for a father to know that his words are being listened to. That he can have peace of mind with the confidence that his final wishes will be honored.

This wasn’t Yosef’s only visit to his dear father. “And it was after all these things, and it was said to Yosef, your father is ill. So he took his two sons, Ephraim and Menashe with him.” (Bereishis 48:1) This is the first time in the Torah where it is mentioned that one fell ill prior to passing away. Prior to Yaakov’s passing, death came suddenly, without warning. Without an opportunity for any end-of-life planning. The Midrash tells us that Yaakov asked HaShem for illness. He reasoned with HaShem, that a man who dies without illness is unable to settle his affairs with his children. But, if was there is a period of illness, a man is forewarned of his impending death, and he has time to gather his children to instruct them on his final wishes. Moreover, illness prior to death enables a person to make a cheshbon hanefesh, an accounting of the soul. To which HaShem responded that Yaakov speaks well. Illness will begin with him.

Upon hearing that his father was ill, Yosef dropped everything, and ran with his sons to be with his father. To receive yet one more bracha for himself, and to ensure that his two boys would also be blessed by their zeide. A bracha, the most beautiful legacy one can leave behind.

Yaakov bentched Yosef’s sons with the famous bracha of HaMalach HaGoel. “The angel that redeems me from all bad, should bless the boys… v’yidgu larov b’kerev ha’aretz, and may they multiply abundantly like fish within the land.” Rav Moshe Feinstein asks, should it not say like fish within the sea? Do fish live on land? Rav Moshe answers that Yaakov’s bracha is that HaShem be with His children even in seemingly impossible situations and in the most difficult of circumstances.

And then Yaakov gathered all his sons. He gave each one a bracha, accompanied by a custom-tailored message. Yaakov is transmitting an important lesson. A lesson for his children; a lesson for future generations. Families are comprised of individuals. All different, yet all part of one united family. We don’t “one-size-fits-all” bless our children. Each one needed to hear a different message. Each child a world onto his own, yet, all stood together before their father.

I think of when my zeide, my mama, my father, my mother were niftar. By each one, we stood together. Brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. No two exactly the same, yet all united. Yaakov’s legacy, his final message. Be a family together, a nation united.

Shabbat Shalom!

Chaya Sora

Chaya Sora can be reached at [email protected]

This article was written L’zecher Nishmas/In Memory Of HaRav Meshulem ben HaRav Osher Anshil HaLevi, zt”l and Rebbetzin Esther bas HaRav Avraham HaLevi, zt”l