The Journey of Dr. Ruth Westheimer: From Kindertransport to Cultural Icon

The Journey of Dr. Ruth Westheimer: From Kindertransport to Cultural Icon

Edited by: TJVNews.com

Ruth Westheimer, internationally renowned pioneering sex therapist and beloved New York City personality died on Friday at the age of 96.  According to her longtime publicist Pierre Lehu, Westheimer died peacefully at her home in the Washington Heights section of New York City. The cause of death was not publicly shared.

In January 1939, ten-year-old Karola Ruth Siegel was one of the 300 Jewish children who embarked on a harrowing journey known as the Kindertransport. This rescue effort, orchestrated to save Jewish children from the impending horrors of Nazi persecution, saw her put on a train by her mother and grandmother, as was reported in a recently published obituary in The Wall Street Journal. Her father had already been taken from their home in Frankfurt, marking the beginning of a traumatic separation that would shape her entire adolescence.

The destination was a Swiss boarding school, which Ruth would later describe as an orphanage. Here, amidst the bleak surroundings and the constant anxiety about the fate of their parents, Ruth and her fellow young refugees navigated their formative years, according to the information provided in the WSJ report.  Despite the dire circumstances, there was still a glimmer of hope that their parents might survive the war, a hope that kept the children going.

Ruth’s time at the boarding school was marked by immense loneliness. However, her restless energy and vivacious personality kept her from succumbing to despair. Girls were not allowed to participate in formal schooling, so Ruth found purpose in caring for the younger children and occasionally guiding the older ones. The WSJ report suggested that her precocious nature was evident in her curiosity and willingness to explore taboo subjects. She had once clandestinely climbed to retrieve a book from her parents’ apartment, a manual with illustrations of sexual positions, which she shared with her peers, the WSJ report noted.  This early exploration into human sexuality, driven by curiosity rather than squeamishness, foreshadowed her future career.

In her diary, Ruth expressed a profound appreciation for the natural organization of the world, refusing to view any aspect of it as dirty. She took pride in correcting the misconceptions held by her peers about sexuality, recognizing the importance of accurate information in this domain, the WSJ report said. This innate desire to educate and demystify would become a cornerstone of her life’s work.

Karola Ruth Siegel, the tenacious girl who navigated the hardships of a refugee’s life, eventually transformed into Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Standing at 4-foot-7, Dr. Ruth became an unrelenting force in the world of broadcasting, education, and authorship. The WSJ report indicated that over a career spanning more than four decades, she helped generations of Americans understand and embrace their sexuality with her unique blend of frankness and nurturing communication.

Dr. Ruth’s approach to discussing human sexuality was revolutionary. At a time when topics related to sex were often cloaked in secrecy, shame, or euphemism, she brought them into the open with a blend of honesty, humor, and compassion. As was explained in the WSJ report, her distinctive voice and diminutive stature made her an unlikely but endearing celebrity, one who broke down barriers and made conversations about sex more accessible and less stigmatized.

In 1945, Ruth left Switzerland and relocated to British Mandatory Palestine, where she joined the Haganah, a Zionist paramilitary organization. Displaying remarkable resilience and adaptability, she trained as a sniper. Her commitment to the cause was profound, but it came with great personal risk. As per the information contained in the WSJ report, on her 20th birthday, while stationed on a rooftop after a shift guarding Israeli soldiers at a checkpoint, she was caught in a mortar attack. The attack resulted in the death of two women beside her and left Ruth severely injured. A skilled surgeon managed to save her legs, but she had to endure a long and arduous process to relearn how to walk.

Ruth’s personal life was as complex as her professional journey. She had her first sexual experience at age 17, in an unconventional setting—on top of a haystack, with the younger brother of her boyfriend, and without protection, as was revealed in The WSJ report.  This early experience perhaps laid the groundwork for her future candid discussions about sex and relationships.

She married twice in quick succession during her early adulthood, later describing these unions as “legalized love affairs.” Also noted in the WSJ report was that following one of these husbands to France, Ruth achieved a significant milestone: earning a psychology degree from the prestigious Sorbonne despite having never attended high school. Her intellectual curiosity and determination propelled her forward, leading her to immigrate to the United States in 1956 as a twice-divorced single mother.

In the U.S., Ruth seized the opportunity provided by a scholarship for Holocaust orphans and survivors to pursue a master’s degree in sociology at the New School for Social Research, which she completed in 1959, the WSJ report said. Balancing her studies and single motherhood, she supported herself and her daughter, Miriam, by cleaning houses for a mere $1 an hour.

In 1961, Ruth married Manfred (Fred) Westheimer, an engineer who had also fled Nazi Germany as a child. Their marriage, marked by mutual respect and love, lasted until Fred’s death 36 years later.

Ruth’s academic journey and personal experiences uniquely positioned her for her future role as Dr. Ruth. Her candidness about sexuality, forged in the crucible of her early life experiences, became a defining feature of her career. The WSJ report indicated that as Dr. Ruth Westheimer, she transformed the conversation about sex in America. Her approachable, nurturing style, combined with her academic rigor, helped demystify and destigmatize discussions about human sexuality.

In 1967, Ruth Westheimer was still searching for stable work when she took a position at a Planned Parenthood clinic in Harlem. The report in the WSJ said that her initial reaction was one of bewilderment. “I thought these people are crazy,” she later recalled. “They talk only about sex. They don’t talk about literature, not about the weather, not about philosophy—nothing!” However, her perspective quickly shifted as she recognized the profound importance and complexity of the subject. “Oops! That’s a very interesting subject matter,” she soon concluded.

At Planned Parenthood, Westheimer delved deeply into the intricacies of human sexuality, gathering data from 2,000 women about their experiences with contraception and abortion. This extensive research formed the basis of her doctoral dissertation, which she completed at Columbia University in 1970. According to the information in the WSJ report, at the age of 42, Ruth Westheimer officially became “Dr. Ruth,” a title that would soon become synonymous with frank and compassionate sex education.

Dr. Ruth’s entry into broadcasting was both accidental and transformative. A decade after earning her doctorate, in 1980, the management of WYNY-FM in New York City invited her to discuss the potential for sex education programming. The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) mandated a certain amount of community issue programming, and sex education seemed a viable option. The WSJ reported that Dr. Ruth, who had spent the previous seven years studying under pioneering sex therapist Helen Singer Kaplan at New York Hospital-Cornell University Medical Center, was well-prepared for the discussion.

With her authoritative knowledge and unique charisma, Dr. Ruth made a compelling case for a radio show dedicated to human sexuality. Despite her persuasive pitch, she hadn’t intended to propose herself as the host. “I did not think that it ought to be me!” she confessed to the BBC in 1990, as was reported by the WSJ. Yet, her presentation unwittingly won her the job.

WYNY-FM launched “Sexually Speaking” with considerable caution. The program debuted as a brief, 15-minute call-in show, airing at the least desirable time slot: midnight on Sunday nights. The report in the WSJ noted that despite this, the show quickly captured the attention of New Yorkers. Dr. Ruth’s approachable demeanor, accented English, and profound empathy resonated with listeners. They began to affectionately address her as “Dr. Ruth,” finding it easier than pronouncing her foreign last name.

“Sexually Speaking” became an instant hit, propelling Dr. Ruth into the limelight. Her willingness to address sensitive and often taboo subjects with honesty and warmth filled a significant void in public discourse. She made sex education accessible and engaging, breaking down barriers and dismantling misconceptions with each broadcast.

Dr. Ruth’s success on the radio translated into a broader media presence. She became a trusted voice on matters of human sexuality, appearing on television shows, writing books, and giving lectures. As the WSJ report pointed out, her impact extended far beyond the airwaves, as she helped countless individuals navigate the complexities of their sexual lives with confidence and understanding.

The phone lines buzzed incessantly with calls, each presenting a new and often agonizing sexual dilemma. These ranged from a man distressed by premature ejaculation to a woman who had been raped and struggled to enjoy sex or masturbation. Another caller was a 19-year-old woman engaged to a man who turned out to be her biological brother, and yet another was a man from Canarsie who simply wanted to express his and his friends’ love for Dr. Ruth’s show, as was noted in the WSJ report. One woman even sought advice on how to get more out of her weekly orgies. These examples are drawn from just one eight-minute segment of a broadcast in March 1982.

In the 2019 documentary “Ask Dr. Ruth,” her son Joel Westheimer recalls returning to his dorm late one Sunday night during his freshman year at Princeton, only to hear his mother’s distinctive voice emanating from doorways up and down the hall. This anecdote illustrates the widespread reach and influence Dr. Ruth had achieved.

Dr. Ruth’s influence continued to grow as she transitioned to television in 1984. Her show “Good Sex!” was broadcast five nights a week on the Lifetime network, featuring intimate conversations with notable guests such as Gloria Steinem and Burt Reynolds, alongside the usual array of listener calls, as was indicated in the WSJ report. This show was the first of several television programs she would host throughout her career. Within months, “Good Sex!” was reportedly drawing 450,000 viewers and 3,000 callers every night.

Her popularity on television extended beyond her own show. Dr. Ruth became a frequent guest on late-night talk shows and was a hit on “Hollywood Squares.” She also starred in commercials for a variety of products, including condoms, Hondas, shampoos, Dr Pepper, and typewriters.

In addition to her radio and television presence, Dr. Ruth became a prolific author. In 1983, she published her first book, “Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Good Sex,” which quickly became a bestseller, the report added. Over the years, she authored a total of 45 books, covering various aspects of sex and relationships.

Dr. Ruth’s influence extended into the world of merchandising as well. She inspired a board game called “Dr. Ruth’s Game of Good Sex” and a video game titled “Dr. Ruth’s Computer Game of Good Sex,” according to the WSJ report. Even T-shirts bearing her image and slogans like “Dr. Ruth is Training the Best Lovers Around…and I’m One of Them” became popular.

The transformation of Ruth Westheimer from an orphaned immigrant to a beloved cultural icon is nothing short of extraordinary. Having fled her home with only a doll and a washcloth, she was thrust into the limelight, featured on shows like “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.” Suddenly, she was surrounded by personal makeup artists, hairdressers, assistants, and chauffeurs, the WSJ report said. Embracing her newfound fame with unabashed enthusiasm, she exclaimed to the Seattle Times, “I love it! I love it! If I did not love it, you would wonder, ‘What is wrong with this person? Is she dead?’”

Dr. Ruth’s rise to mainstream American consciousness was marked by her radical candor. Her straightforward discussions about human sexuality and women’s reproductive health were a counterforce to the conservative movements gaining strength during the Reagan era. The WSJ report explained that as an adamant pro-choice advocate, she offered on-air tutorials about oral sex, female orgasms, and birth control, even as groups like the Moral Majority raged against abortion, the Equal Rights Amendment, and basic sex education in schools.

Dr. Ruth’s stance on pornography was equally unapologetic. In 1986, when asked about the findings of the Meese Commission, a task force convened by the U.S. Attorney General to investigate pornography in America, she critiqued their efforts. “I wish they had used their good brains and their time and the effort, and the money, to find the best contraceptive available, and to find a cure for AIDS, instead of wasting all of this energy for such reports,” she remarked.

Her acceptance of what others might decry as deviant kinks was unwavering. Whether discussing a woman who enjoyed throwing onion rings onto her fiancé’s erect penis or other unconventional practices, Dr. Ruth maintained that as long as the activity was consensual and free of violence or coercion, it was simply a part of living one’s truth, the WSJ report said. “As long as there is no violence or force involved, as long as the sexual activity is between two consenting adults—I say, ‘Go to it!’” she told one reporter.

Dr. Ruth’s approach to sex was an extension of her vivaciousness about life in general. To her, good sex was just another facet of living well. Her infectious enthusiasm and straightforward advice resonated with millions, empowering them to embrace their sexuality without shame or fear.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer’s ascent to fame in the early 1980s coincided with one of the most harrowing public health crises of the time: the AIDS epidemic. As the disease ravaged communities, particularly among gay men, Dr. Ruth emerged not only as an educator on sexual health but also as a staunch advocate for the rights and dignity of those affected by AIDS. According to the WSJ report, she used her platform to preach respect for gay individuals, participated in AIDS benefits, and expressed a profound empathy for the victims of the epidemic. She showed little patience for those who dismissed the suffering of gay men or suggested that they had brought the disease upon themselves.

In the documentary “Ask Dr. Ruth,” she linked her empathy to her own childhood experiences as a German Jew during the Holocaust. “I certainly had a sensitivity for the people who were really regarded as subhuman,” she explained, as per the WSJ report. This deep-seated understanding of marginalization and suffering informed her unwavering support for those afflicted by AIDS, positioning her as a compassionate and vocal ally during a time of widespread fear and stigma.

Despite the potentially controversial nature of her work and the societal taboos she regularly confronted, Dr. Ruth proved remarkably adept at avoiding controversy or outrage. Her magnetic personality, combined with her diminutive stature and spunky, cartoonish aura, made her an unlikely but endearing figure. “I think it has something to do with my not being tall and blonde and gorgeous,” she told Diane Sawyer, acknowledging how her appearance and persona endowed her with a unique “superpower.”

Dr. Ruth’s age, appearance, and unabashed enthusiasm made her seem harmless and non-threatening. She was like America’s nutty and absolutely unembarrassable great-aunt, who wanted all her nieces and nephews to be terrific lovers and wasn’t afraid to shout “clitoris” from the far end of the dinner table to communicate an important point, the report indicated. This approachable and desexualized image allowed her to be trusted with people’s most vulnerable questions and concerns about sex. Men and women alike found her to be a safe and reliable confidante, someone who could address their deepest insecurities without judgment or intimidation.

As the cultural landscape of sexuality evolved, some of Dr. Ruth Westheimer’s views began to diverge from the progressive movements she once championed. Despite her groundbreaking work in destigmatizing sex and educating the public, she held certain beliefs that seemed increasingly anachronistic. Dr. Ruth expressed disapproval of sex on the first date and maintained an idealistic view of marriage that some considered outdated. In 2015, she faced criticism for her comments on sexual consent. The WSJ report noted that while speaking to Haaretz, she remarked, “I don’t believe that when partners are naked they can say at any time, ‘I changed my mind.’” This statement was met with significant backlash as it appeared out of step with the contemporary understanding of consent.

Despite these controversies, Dr. Ruth remained an active, vibrant presence in the public eye well into her old age. Her curiosity and engagement with current trends were undiminished. When the “Fifty Shades of Grey” novels became a cultural phenomenon, she read them to stay informed, though she dismissed them as “not great literature.” Her dedication to staying relevant exemplified her commitment to her role as a sex educator.

In 2023, Dr. Ruth’s activism took a new direction when she was appointed New York state’s first Ambassador to Loneliness. This honorary position was not just an accolade; it was a role she had conceived and lobbied for herself. Driven by her own experiences during the Covid-19 pandemic, she felt compelled to address the epidemic of loneliness and its detrimental health effects, the WSJ report said. The isolation she experienced during the pandemic echoed her years of solitude at the orphanage in Switzerland, motivating her to raise awareness and educate others about the issue.

Before the pandemic, Dr. Ruth had embraced a lavish and active lifestyle in New York City, attending restaurants, theaters, benefits, and social events almost nightly. Her energetic social life was a testament to her enduring spirit, the report noted, Even in her 90s, she maintained her essential “Dr. Ruthiness,” a term that encapsulates her unique blend of warmth, humor, and candidness.

One of her charming habits was snatching bouquets from gala tables. As was reported by the WSJ, during a 2019 podcast interview with actor Alan Alda, she shared her trick: she would pull aside a waiter and say, “Do me a favor. If you want to have good sex for the rest of your life, pack up those flowers for me.” This anecdote highlighted her playful nature and her unwavering belief in the joy of living well.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer’s life is a testament to resilience, adaptability, and an unyielding commitment to education and advocacy. While some of her views may have seemed out of sync with modern sensibilities, her contributions to sexual education and public discourse remain invaluable. She broke barriers, challenged taboos, and brought discussions about sex into the mainstream with a unique blend of humor and expertise.