Sony’s “No Hard Feelings” Debuts in Shameless Hollywood

By: Lieba Nesis

Sony released its tawdry “No Hard Feelings” movie on June 23rd with a budget of $45 million and one major leading star-Jennifer Lawrence.  Directed by Gene Stupnitsky-or stupidnitsky-who grew up in an observant home and attended Solomon Shechter day school-this flick will undoubtedly be a cult favorite for pedophiliacs worldwide.  The premise of this raunchy fare begins with 32-year-old Maddie Barker (Jennifer Lawrence) residing in Montauk as an Uber driver who is desperate for cash since her car has been repossessed because she can no longer afford property taxes on the home her deceased mother gave her.  The usual Hollywood villains-rich homeowners- have taken over her hamlet and bartending in Montauk isn’t the financial windfall she expected.

Enter a Craigslist ad placed by helicopter parents Matthew Broderick and Laura Benanti requesting her to sleep with their nerdy homebound virginal 19-year-old son in exchange for a Buick Regal- did Buick pay for this advertising?  I always thought helicopter parenting meant getting your kids A’s not laid but let’s suspend disbelief for a torturous two hours.

Her friend suggests Rebecca De Mornay lookalike Maddie would make more money as a prostitute or with a sugar daddy; however, this idea is quickly dismissed as immoral since Maddie would be cavorting with rich men-the exact object of her animosity.  Having no problem with bedding a prepubescent boy, played by Andrew Barth Feldman, Maddie relentlessy hunts poor Percy for sex requiring him to use Mace to subdue her sexual appetite.

Firstly, if Percy who is headed to Princeton in the fall is so brilliant doesn’t he find it odd that a magnificent girl nearly twice his height and age finds him irresistible.  The major problem with the movie is Percy appears no older than 12-he is tiny in stature, pale as a ghost, and looks like he has been recently potty trained.  Each near sexual encounter makes one cringe with discomfort and wonder how this movie got greenlighted by a major studio.

After American Apparel and Balenciaga unsuccessfully tried to make child pornography mainstream hasn’t the creative industry had enough?  Is Hollywood rife with pedophiliacs as many claim? After seeing this movie the answer must be yes.  Even Percy’s Manny, Jody, who still obsesses over him, gives a wink to pedophilia as he questions Maddie’s motives while she questions his-and the audience is left speechless.  Thankfully, Maddie and Percy never actually do the deed as numerous impediments occur including Percy breaking out in a rash due to nerves as the two end up settling for a contrived friendship.  Lawrence herself called the movie “so wrong” and “so offensive” and yet her $25 million payday was too hard to refuse.  This coming from a girl who complained to Vogue in 2021 that she only received $25 million for her role in Netflix’s “Don’t Look Up” while DiCaprio received $30 million.  “I’m still not going to get paid as much as that guy cause of my vagina”, she whined.

Well, she made sure we see a lot of her vagina and boobs in this movie as she decided to go full frontal for the big payday in a completely gratuitous skinny dipping scene that has her nakedly punching out a group that stole her and Percy’s clothing. Lawrence described her nude photos being hacked in 2014 as an incident that was “violating” a “sex crime” and in 2021 said “anybody can look at my naked body any time of the day… my trauma will exist forever.”  However, I guess if you get paid multiple millions you have no problem with your kids, husband, parents and entire world viewing your private parts for the next couple of centuries.  An A-list movie actress appearing nude in a Rom-Com is nearly unheard of in the current day of #Metoo; However, Lawrence dismissed the controversy by claiming to Variety “I didn’t even have a second thought.  It was hilarious to me.” Traumatizing two years earlier hilarious two years later-which is it Jennifer?

The big question remains why 21-year-old Andrew Barth Feldman was chosen for the lead despite he and Lawrence having zero chemistry.  The overwhelming temptation to call child protection services whenever they appeared amorous was seconded by the movie’s characters who frequently referred to surgically altered Lawrence as “Ma’am”-if the shoe fits wear it. Having played the title role in “Dear Evan Hansen” in 2019 Feldman was equipped to belt out a cringeworthy rendition of Hall and Oates’s “Maneater” to Maddie.

However, Hollywood’s meticulous attention to casting knowing how devastating a wrong choice can be indicates Feldman was precisely chosen because of his youthful appearance-the movie only works with “shock and awe.”  In an industry that decries Harvey Weinstein and Jeffrey Epstein, yet thinks nothing about exploiting a young boy’s sexuality for scant humor-is an industry that is truly deplorable.  The subtle perverseness of this movie makes it more insidious as an attempt to gloss over its debauchery with a preachy happy ending belies its harmful content: Maddie heads to California to start anew and Percy begins Princeton as they both acknowledge their undeniable platonic bond.

Yet delve into the first hour and a half of this cringefest and you will be sorely disappointed. This movie could have tackled all sorts of pivotal issues of the current digital age-including Percy’s wealthy parents obvious disconnect from their only child, our youth’s preoccupation with social media, iPhones, and video games at the expense of human interaction, or the encroachment of the wealthy into small towns hiking up property costs and destroying authentic values.  However, these issues don’t sell tickets-salacious sex does.  This R-rated movie targeting unknowing families as a harmless Rom-Com featuring America’s sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence is deleterious to the fabric of society.